AFRICAN FEMINISM by Olabanji Joel

Starting with the life of an industrious woman that was popularly called Iya Ijebu in her lifetime even with her strong background as an Ijesa woman, she did businesses too in the North and she understands Hausa language well like the back of her palms. Can I forget she worked in the East too? Yeah, she did business at Enugu and regardless of her low level of education was able to understand some basic english sentences which she used to communicate with her customers, she left Enugu after her shop was burgled and she continued her business afterwards till the very year she died. She lived a successful life, even though being industrious, she had the understanding that she can't be termed successful without a home, so she built and maintained her home, she supported her husband in everything and they both had a home, she didn't neglect her role as a woman at home and this helped her even after her husband died. Iya Ijebu as she was fondly called was known as a very strong woman with high intellect, she was submissive and supportive in defiance of all she had, she didn't lose value for doing the things she did, instead, she lived happily while she witnessed the children from her home being successful too. This woman died 25years after the demise of her husband and you know what?! She died as a successful woman not because she had all the properties in the world but because she had a home and died in the hands of her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. SHE HAD IT ALL. 

The essence of marriage is for companionship and complementing, not just for reproduction as many believe these days, child bearing is the blessing of marriage not the essence for marriage. I will say it is better to remain single if all what you think about marriage is reproduction because reproduction can occur anywhere, even outside marriage. Marriage is meant for two people to build a home and a life together, they are to complement each other's weaknesses and to achieve the best together. The essence of marriage is destroyed when a lady decides to practice feminism borne from civilization forgetting that our mothers and grandmothers also practiced feminism in their own time but in a distinct way that preserved their homes and our heritage. 

I started this write up with the story of a woman that was at the top of her game, she didn't campaign to be equal with men but she worked hard and succeeded like men while she didn't give room for her home to be destroyed as a result of her love for business, instead she balanced her work and home and that made her a successful woman at the end. It will be better for our feminist to go back to the way feminism was practiced in our own traditional way, it doesn't make women slaves, it doesn't make them die young even, instead, it made them strong and successful in all ways, mostly, they lived longer than their husbands and die several years after the demise of their husbands. I have seen many who said the African culture allows for the maltreatment of women but it's not so, the African culture almost goes in line with the biblical directives which says a man must love his wife and a woman must respect her husband, it's not slavery, individual's ability and strength have been attributed to the responsibilities to be committed to them. 

Note: A palace can never stand with two kings giving orders. A man who want peace will love and care for his wife and a woman who want a home will respect and honour her husband. 

I will conclude with the statement of a core African man who has been married to his industrious wife for over 40years, when his wife was on the sick bed, he said in ujesa dialect and I quote "Ki nkankan mo se o be o aya mi, gbogbo aisan to ba fe se o be, emi ni ke se" meaning "nothing should go wrong with you my dear wife, I should be afflicted with any sickness that wants to afflict you right now". When asked why he said that, he said and I quote "I can't take care of her as she would take care of me, she has always been taking care of me since we got married and I can't afford anything bad happening to her now that I need her most". That came from a grandpa who knows the values embedded in his wife, she was never a full time house wife, in fact, she was industrious but never played with the care and respect she gave to her husband. She also died as a very successful woman not because she had it all but because she had an enviable home. 

Don't let western feminism strip you off the joy of marriage, feminism has been before the infiltration from the western world, it was practice in a cultured manner with distinct way of life and it was accompanied with great marital successes. BE WISE.

Inspired by Dr. Olaniyi Owoeye's copied post.

I reference Late Mrs Dorcas Bamidele Orolugbagbe and Late Mrs Betty Adekanye.

I am Olabanji Joel Orolugbagbe A Nurse, Writer and a Socialist.